If we were not psychos villains - M.L. Rio

The unecessary introduction

The picture below was taken in Thassos, a wonderful Greek island in the Aegean sea, filled with lots of great places where food is just amazing. What does Thassos have to do with this book though? Well, only that it’s the place where I’ve read it. Shaming astrology here for not aligning the stars properly in how my mood was configured at the time of the vacation. I was just having a burning desire to spawn myself in the middle of a rainy autumn day, reading some dark academia books. I had to fight this feeling somehow while being on a summer vacation, so this book was the perfect companion.

Anyway, what’s the thing with the ‘If we were villains’ book, written by M.L. Rio? I wanted to read this book badly for some time. I’d probably been digging through my memory drawers for the past few weeks when I accidentally stumbled upon the one containing my memories of reading the famous ‘The Secret History’ by Donna Tartt. I swear to God — this book managed to solve my attention span issues. Thus, I was so eager to revive that feeling. Dark academia is just a cozy subject. We all require something that makes us feel like reading toasty books or whatever things we are passionate about, don’t we?

This book is great in many ways, but on the other side of the coin, it hides the same amount of minor flaws. It certainly and proudly possesses dark academia vibes. Best to be read while serving coffee, taking the necessary lulls and watching gilded leaves stagger to the ground. A beach works too. :)

The Plot

TL;DR

The whole story revolves around Oliver — the main character. The unspoken truth: he’s just a guy who’s not sure about his sexuality, or his mere existence at all. He is physically attracted to Meredith — a.k.a the popular good looking girl; but covets for James’ sole existence more. They’re the nucleus of the group they’re part of. Together, they successfully manage to kill Richard — Meredith’s lover. Oliver takes his place. Cops get involved. We know from the start that Oliver ends up in jail. Why? He takes the blame for Richard’s murder, which was done by James. Why x2 does he take the blame? Because he loves James. In the end, Oliver’s time behind bars expires and he finds out James has commited suicide. He gets back with Meredith. EOS. Crazy, right?

TS;DR

Most of the action happens at the Dellecher Classical Conservatory, an isolated and intensely competitive school. It starts with showcasing the usual days from this weird heterogeneous group, composed by seven fourth-year theatre students:

• Oliver - the main character. The story is related via his perspective — an interesting one for sure. He’s this self-made family disappointment (‘hey mom, look, I’m the CEO of making my dad cry’) because of his choice to pursue a non-stable career. To be honest, looking at how the story ends, it would’ve been better to listen to his father. His strengths, as stated in the book, are being nice and failing to be an asshole — at least not one as big as the others in the group.
• Meredith - the depressed girl, loved by everyone for her looks, not knowing if there’s at least one soul who thinks of her as capable of acting. She comes from this rich as hwell family. Even her parents don’t take her seriously.
• James - Oliver’s idol. What’s left to say? He’s portrayed as this good looking, talented, and smart boy, coming from an art-oriented family. He’s exactly the recipe of a cake that’s either going to taste like a lifetime experience or blow up in the oven.
• Richard - the so called villain. Well, he is the leitmotif of the book. He appears to be this tall and frightening school bully, carrying his own mental problems as well. He’s Meredith’s boyfriend — this sounds like a drunken Tinder match. He gets killed — no one regrets it.
• Filippa - the smart person in the group
• Alexander - the ‘wanna smoke’ guy. He’s not taking cigarette breaks, but air inhaling pauses.
• Wren - Richard’s cousin. I can’t remember why she’s important in the book. I know she cried a lot tho.

The author has just completed her MA in Shakespeare Studies when published this book. This is her first novel — and this makes it really impressive to be honest. Given the circumstances, the plays are all Shakespearean.

There is a lot of conflict going on. Jealousy is probably the main culprit for everything that happens. Oliver is the loyal squire, always playing the supportive roles. James is usually playing the hero, while Richard is the villain — in all matters. For this reason, the latter character is envious of the former. He gets angry and physically violent.

This leads to an important milestone in the book. Richard drinks like a whale during a party and gets into a fight with someone. At that point already, Meredith, his girlfriend, has had enough. She leaves the party and goes upstairs. Oliver follows her and gets into the room. They make out. Richard slams and screams at the door, which is closed. For this particular reason, he angrily leaves into the woods — like Bigfoot crying over his inability to keep The Little Mermaid.

After a while, everyone finds him in the lake, close to death. They decide not to help. Richard dies, and this is where the story really beginds to unravel. Everything goes downwards from this point on.

Oliver comforts Meredith — the ‘widow’. He’s shortly after that becoming her boyfriend. Everyone judges them for this — and for real, it’s weird and suspicious. James starts to act differently, not being himself. This way, Oliver gets caught between the hammer and the anvil, not knowing exactly who needs his presence more.

The police get involved in the whole story, and they’re trying to figure out how Richard got killed. While they start asking questions, the group tries to continue with their lives.

Other Shakespearean plays take place in the following months. If you like Shakespeare, you’re going to love this. Otherwise, I find it boring.

At the same time, Oliver’s relationship with Meredith becomes increasingly suspicious. They’re spending the winter holidays together in her big apartment in NY, no family is present there, except for her brother, who is like this busy businessman but a nice guy overall — very bohemian indeed.

Time goes by, and James starts acting violently and hurts Oliver. The narrator mentions that James isn’t attracted to Meredith, despite everyone else being enamored of her. This whole mess makes you think that James has killed Richard, but not for the reason you’d expect. I, personally, thought James and Meredith were secret lovers, and they planned to kill Richard so he couldn’t stand in their way anymore. If so, why would Oliver be Meredith’s public choice in the first place? ~ because he’s being nice that’s why ;)

After another party and someone getting drunk — what other plot could you imagine in a college dorm aight? — James finally confesses to Oliver that he killed Richard in order to protect himself while Richard was attacking him.

Meredith goes to the police and confesses her suspicions to Detective Colborne that James is responsible for Richard’s murder. Oliver takes the blame and voilà.

Oliver gets out of jail after ten years or so. He tells the truth to Colborne, finds out James drowned four years ago, then gets back to Meredith for some sexy time /s. In the end, Oliver recognizes that he loved James more, but is still accepted by Meredith, who has become this lonely popular actor.

My takeaways

I personally think the dialogue was too dramatic for my taste. I know it’s a book about student actors in Shakespearean plays, but using phrases like My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself. Because it is an enemy to thee while in the middle of a fight just makes me cringe. It sounds as like programmers telling you to follow that particular alley in the park because of Djikstra’s rationale.

I had a good time reading it, but wouldn’t pick it up a second time. I deeply recommend that you read this if you’re a dark academia fan, otherwise spare yourself some time.